The Race You Can Never Win

Running away from your problems, is a race you'll never win.

One of the things we do most frequently in life is — make decisions. 

Each moment of our life we make decisions about what  we need or want to do. But why is decision-making so important?

Growing up, I used to think being depressed or having anxiety problems was just silly and weak. 

On the other hand, I felt empowered when I was angry and burying my head on a video game was my safe haven from troubles and problems.

Looking back now, I think I really hurt some people as well as my self because I didn't know how to deal with emotions properly while they were actually happening.

And I never give a thought on how my decisions was actually affecting others.

You see, making correct decisions is critical because of their  consequences. 

One decision could change the course of our life; some might even change, the course of eternity.  

Usually at a younger or ideological age we are inclined to see decisions as black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. 

With wisdom, hindsight  and, maybe age, we realize that some decisions are not black or white; there are all kinds of grey in between.  

This is what creates a dilemma. 

At times you have  to choose between the better of two good things and the better of  two evils. This makes decision-making difficult. 

We  avoid having  to choose between two bad  things because it goes against our belief system. 

One result can  have both good and  bad consequences, or the better option  may carry risks.  

Most of the time we are  free to make our own decisions. At times there will be issues in life where we'll be forced into making a decision. 

The unavoidable truth is, If we do not make some decisions, others will make them  for us. 

Our belief system will influence how and what decisions we'll make. A strong belief system  will give us the confidence required to be firm and precise in our decision-making. 

But some do run away!!


What do you do when faced with a big decision to which you don’t know the answer?

Do you opt for the middle road that marginally meets everyone’s needs? 

Do you sacrifice your needs for others? 

Do you randomly pick an option, and simply hope for the best? 

Do you pick what seems to be the most logical, even though you are not 100% sure? 

Do you put off the decision making process and hope everything will sort itself out eventually?


Running away from  our decisions is not  decision-making. It is decision avoidance and this generally makes the matter worse.  The ‘important’ becomes ‘urgent’. The ‘urgent’  becomes ‘critical’.

I’ve learned from life's lessons that it’s only when we stop running and embrace the truth that we really begin to resolve our problems. That's when we begin to live.

We all want resolutions as simple as purchasing a plane ticket, updating our “Current City” on Facebook and moving on with our lives, but we forget that our emotional ties run deeper than that. 

We forget that we can never fly far enough away from ourselves to escape what it is that lies unresolved within us.

Our unresolved emotional clutter seeps into every facet of our lives, stealthily enough to remain eternally undetected. 

It’s the hesitation deep in our gut that balks when new opportunity arises. It’s the sense of self-doubt that creeps in when you’re challenged. 

It’s the same old pain of trying to write a new chapter without finishing the old one – you do not have a frame of reference to carry on forward. 

You’re trying to grab at something new with full hands and yet you cannot figure out why you keep dropping it.

When you constantly run from the past, it wears away the present with a vengeance.

When you run away from all of your problems, you eventually run from yourself. 

You forget the person you could be if you stayed in one place, worked through your downfalls, accepted your shortcomings and then overcame them. 

You forget that there’s a version of you who is reliable and passionate and strong. You lose the sense of pride you used to have from persevering. 

Running away from your problems is a race you'll never win. 

Instead of solving it, it increases the distance from the solution.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Stop pretending like you don’t care and start taking responsibility for your emotions.

I use to either pretend things are not a big deal or pretend they aren’t happening and yet the issues will still be there no matter how tired, busy or seemingly indispensable I make myself.  

And these issues usually crop up to me again and again, interfering with my regular level of functioning until I finally face them. 

I'm not going through that again. Never. 

I've realized that it’s only when we stop running and embrace the truth that we really begin to resolve our problems—the point where we begin to live. 

YOU CAN'T BE STRONG FOR NOTHING

Strong people don’t ignore every negative experience and let it eat at them from the inside out.

Strong people don’t build walls. 

They don’t deny their feelings. They embrace them and then tackle their problems head on.

We’ve all got a lot to learn and if we don’t learn to embrace how we feel, we may stop feeling all together.

Do not run away from your problems. Every problem has a solution.

TAKE A MOMENT TO ANALYSE THE PROBLEM

When everything has started to go wrong in twos and threes and you feel incapable of dealing with it all, take a break from all your other activities. 

Make the time to fix it. 

No man will prefer to have a good time with his friends when he is aware that his house is on fire. 

Take time off to think things through. A time to dwell on the issues at hand. Why is this important?

If you choose to pretend as if nothing is happening, the issues will still be there no matter how tired, busy or seemingly indispensable you make yourself.  

And these issues will soon crop up to be met with again and again, interfering with your regular level of functioning until you finally face them. 

You don't want that... Do you?

You can decide to deal with the problem by yourself or seek the help of a trusted friend.

If you decide to deal with the problem by yourself, like what I do most of the time, you should set aside a particular time like a day or two from your busy schedule, go to a friend's house, rent a hotel's room, or live in your van for a weekend. 

Avoid distraction by switching off your phone and anything to just get away and do nothing but think.
 
Be honest with yourself. 

Think things through and look at your life from a different angle. Look at your own life from the perspective of a third person. Look at your life from a distance.

WHAT I DO AT TIMES:

Sometimes I try to occasionally view my life like a movie or as if am reading a novel. 

While it may seem a little odd at first, the more I aim to watch my life from the viewpoint of someone neutral, the more I piece together patterns and even laugh a little at the self that keeps trying in spite of the odds stacked against repeating negative patterns.

If you can, try it. 

Just try to be neutral for a moment by stepping out of yourself. 

You know, putting yourself into the position of a character can help you to perceive the main themes that continue to be met by the character and also help you to fix the issue at hand in a clear perspective. 

Yes it works. 

Standing outside of yourself and your current situation may be the only way you can be objective or realistic about any issues you are facing.

If you already have too much on your table give yourself more space by dropping a few obligations. 

Rearrange your life.

If you're over-committed, it's likely you're also under-performing in a number of ways and that hurts both you, your friends and those depending on you.

BE STRONG AND NEVER GIVE UP

We may have made some mistakes at one point in our lives, but acknowledging that we are imperfect humans who make mistakes at times will give us the needed strength to rise above our errors. 

To be strong, we have to continue  seeking ways to either learn to live with them or to build up more of our strengths to ensure that the weaknesses do not lead us instead.

NOW WHAT:

Life is not easy. Sometimes the only option available when there are issues or troubles, may seem to be for us to hide ourselves from the cruel reality of our past. 

But... Don't be afraid to fall. 

Don't be discourage if you are facing some challenges now. 

Whatever happens, remember that: The one who fell down and get up is so much stronger than the one who never fall. 

Your past can Only hurt you If you let it. 

Making mistakes Does not downgrade You. 

Instead, it is what You do after realizing you Have made a mistake that determines if people will learn from your example, or from your lesson.

So... never give up. It's not over until it is over.

 

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