Lonely... But Happy; How?

  

            Have you ever felt lonely at a point in your life?  

Some experience this every time they are left alone, while others like me, at night as a result of negative memories, leading to frustration. 

Now, let's discuss how you can utilize this SPECIAL MOMENT in your life...

It is a special moment because, some never gets the privilege to find themselves as they keep losing themselves, due to the life style, or the nature of the job they do.

           People think being alone makes you a LONELY being, But I don't think that’s true. Being surrounded by wrong people is the loneliest thing in the World

           You can be happy even when alone, because your contentment comes from inside of you. Your self-worth is not dependent upon any external stimuli. 

So don't be afraid to spend some time alone, unplugged from the phones, TV etc, stop distracting yourself from yourself, this is the only way to slow down and actually observe the patterns and beliefs you holds.  

Sometimes things don't always turn out the way you planned it, or the way you think they should. 

And as hard as we try, there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before.
  
           Personally, I don’t like being lonely, but love being alone (Does that make sense?).

           So how can you be happy when alone and when you feel lonely?

 

Time To Bring Back
Your Happy Memories

           Take this moment to remember the happy days you’ve had in the past and imagine the better days ahead. 

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it, and surround yourself with materials or people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. 

Ask yourself: “What do I like doing?
           

Maybe you enjoy playing an instrument. Why don’t you play one just to accompany yourself for the moment? 

Yes; any hobby that makes you feel good is worth doing at the moment. (If you ask me what I do when I’m alone, of course I would be drawing, typing some write-ups and reading… and some little time on gaming! for short). 
           

Do you have kids? If yes, then you could spend the apple time playing with your kids!
And they will love you for it, and never forget that moment!

 

Time to Focus

           So we say; we think we want one thing, we say we want another and do completely different thing, which comes with a different result. Why? 

Because wHERE yOUR tHOUGHTS gO, yOU gO. It would be difficult for you to be focus if your thoughts are not balance, just like the wave of the sea.
          

There could be no other better time than when you are alone; the time when your thoughts start rearranging themselves. 

Now, when alone, I view it as a rare opportunity to tell, and remind myself of my last agenda or my temporally organized plan for matters to be attended to; the steps I have planned to take to make it a success. 

All this require concentration and focus; you see, my friend. Always use your rare opportunity, when you are privileged to be alone to remind yourself your last agenda or your temporally organized plan for matters to be attended to; the steps you have planned to take to make it a success.

 

 A Broken Friendship

           I hear a friend telling her partner: “…treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny”.
          

Over the years, I've learned that some broken things stay broken, and I've learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.
            

When someone walks out of your life (even though you tried your best), let them. There's no use in wasting your time (feelings, headache, and worries) on people that leave you. 

What you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them. Yeah, you may miss them. But remember that you weren't the one that gave up. 

Let’s be frank and honest; you don’t need their negative attitude and feedback. Now you can focus, at the quietness of the moment. 
           

You could Learn something new, You know, you're so smart and creative but most of the time you believe you aren't. 

Why don’t you spend some time doing what you like every day. Yes. Do something good for yourself.

 

Be Grateful

           Granted, you may be sad and tired or even lonely sometimes. 

But if you remember that you’re still breathing, it's an advantage that will surely put a smile on your face. A sign of better things to come in the future. 

As the saying goes:"When there is LIFE, there is HOPE. Sometimes you have to erase the messages, delete the numbers, and move on. 
           

You don't have to forget who that person was to you, but you do have to accept that they aren't that person anymore. 

You are (or should be) your best friend, get to know yourself, go for a walk, in the woods, observe your thoughts, be with yourself.
Meditate daily, at least for 10 minutes.
           

We have to accept who we are, spend some time with ourselves, to find the great truth within — that we can be alone, that we do not need another person to make us feel whole. 

We are not needy, rather, we're giving and loving.

Related:

HOW TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION (d.p) 

NEVER GIVE UP NOW UNTILL YOU READ THIS 

HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY CAREER'S CHOICE IN YOUR 20s 

RESPECT MONEY AND LIVE LONGER 

 DOES COMPETITION RUNS YOUR LIFE?

 

Does Competition Runs Your Life?

          “In a place where there is no competition, I don’t think improvement in performance will likely happen.” 

That is the answer Emmy (name changed) gave me during our chat on the various things that motivate humans. 

What do you think? 

Maybe you'll agree with Emmy since we live in a very competitive world. 

    

EveryOne around us seems to be competing with someone at some level.

Each week we spend hours playing or watching others compete in games or sporting activities all over the world. 

We cannot help being impressed by the level of excellence that these people achieve. 

Many will compete when the motivation is strong enough. 

          But should you really compare yourself with someone only to prove you’re better? No. I don’t think so. 

You don’t have to. 

Fulfilling the measure of your creation can only be achieved by you alone. For that I say, competition is not your real purpose of life. It is good you know this.  

           Let me tell you what competition does to your performers. 

When there is competition at work, home or at school, it will encourage you to measure your worth with or against what others are able to do; or strive for the same thing as someone else that is stronger, wealthier or more talented than you are.

Competition could make employees push each other to their maximal strength, exceeding their average energy limit (beyond normal). 

Although this may result in an increased production for a period of time; if not control can be damaging to your health. 

While financial incentives and bonuses are a plus (sometimes) to get the competition going, it doesn’t quench the physical and emotional stress experienced by those involved. 

This often leads to lose of sleep at night, and ill-health. 

If not properly handle, can lead to energy reduction, and as individual product power reduces, so is those of the entire team of workers who seek to out-do one another.

           Many times, the effect is negative. 

Because it cultivates in you the feelings of envy and a spirit of jealousy, in a short time (if allowed to continue), spite and resentment soon follow at seeing the success of another.

That could stimulate in you a desire to commit wrong acts. 

         
 This could also make people lack appreciation for what you do for them because, either they expect more, feel they deserve more, or feel that a simple “Thank You” could mean a sign of weakness (just imagine!).

          If you think that this does affect us individually alone, you are wrong. 

In fact, the media, too, are not left out in this area. Competition is fierce among the media. 

Seized by the frenzy of the moment, some reporters seemed to have difficulty finding the balance between getting newsworthy stories ahead of others and showing consideration  and respect for the victims.

IT’S NOT MY THING

The anxiousness to get a particular work done in a short period of time gives me an extra heart-beat. 

It start with an intense sweaty palm with heart beating fast, mind rushing, with terror-filled experience—which make you feel terrible in a couple of minutes and you never want to go through it again.

         Let us not become egotistical, stirring up competition with one another, envying one another. 

When you compare yourself with others, or strive for the same thing as someone else just to prove you’re better, your fundamental question about life go unanswered.

Resist the urge to compare yourself with others. 

This could be the only antidotal remedy to a competitive spirit. 

You may not be able to stop it from building up, for now, but why not concentrate on what you can do! - To reduce its effect, by being content with what you have…

You know, contentment is a secret to those who have never taken step to attain it (could that be you?).

          You don’t have to be discouraged because you think that someone else is wealthier or talented than you are in a particular area in your life. 

There is only one person that can fulfill your roll and that is you. 

Do your own work well and then you will have something to be proud of. But don’t compare yourself with someone else!

IT GOES WITH RESENTMENT

It’s easy to get caught up in the spirit by following the flow due to the environment. 

Just because everybody is doing it doesn’t make it ok. Don’t be surprise to hear this. It is the truth. 

Some friends are encouraging competition at work place, but this is not always positive. 

In fact, it can create unhealthy rivalries that result in workers resenting each other; Especially if one person or a team always get the bonus and the praise by winning the competition. 

If this happen, then a gap had been created among workers, between the “have(s)” and “have not”. And this is not healthy in internal work relation. 

If you ask me, I will say; I prefer the easy going approach to getting works done. Preparing and getting ready on time. 

...Doing the right thing at the right time and not the “win at all cost” competitive attitude that may even bring out the worst in some workers losing one’s self, and forgetting one’s family due to situation beyond control.

LEARN TO COLLABORATE

“Two are better than one”, an old friend once told me; “if one eats alone, he dies alone” (imagine). But that’s not for you my dear reader. Not my friends, not even their businesses or companies. 

So if you work alone or limit your activity to the team in your company alone without outside relation in the name of competition, it will only cripple your growth. How? 

First, it will slow you down. Why? 

Because you will anxiously be peering over your shoulder, constantly checking to see who’s catching up instead of directing those energy and focus on creating or improving your brand and your unique product. 

If you are protecting your professional secrets constantly or monitoring what your competitors are doing, it can distract you from your most important works and rob you of the joy that comes from creating freely and at worst, block your potential business ideas. 

You need to widen out.

STILL WANT TO COMPET?

While competition may be a hot topic in the media and production industries, there are still major group of people that still believes that competition should not be the only way to achieving success. 

Maybe you should give more attention to the quality of the products and services you render. 

A golden fish have no place to hide. 

If your brand is ok and genuine, your friends, and business associates will happily open their hearts, companies, and even wallets to give you whatever they can.

MY DICISION

It may look a bit hypocrite if I do not practice what I say, I feel it might be helpful to you if I tell you what I do each day when everybody seems to be looking up to me to take a challenge or a competition. 

Sometimes the pressure to compete can be very high, but I know what I want, and how to get it! 

I don’t have to compete with anybody to prove to somebody my worth.

This is what comes to me when I'm faced with a decision to compete:

I am in competition with no one. 
I have no desire to play the game
   of being better than anyone. 
I’m simply trying to be better than
    the person I was yesterday.

These thoughts have helped me to gain the power of humility and the art of getting what you want while working cooperatively and harmoniously with others. 

If you are struggling at your current establishment or job to create a balance between peering constantly over your shoulder to see who’s catching up, and 

Creating your brand or rendering a genuine service, then you should follow a more relaxing approach like this positive affirmative technique. 

It has been proved a long time ago that where your thoughts go, you go.

So remind yourself constantly:
 

I am in competition with no one. 
I have no desire to play the game
   of being better than anyone. 
I’m simply trying to be better than
    the person I was yesterday.

Yes… if you continue with this affirmation every day, it will help you to lead a more effective life, and keep you from the worries, stress, and headaches that results from the hassle and survive or win-at-all-cost competitive spirit. 

Good health to you.

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Related:

RESPECT MONEY AND LIVE LONGER 

HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY CAREER'S CHOICE IN YOUR 20s 

7 Tips to Build a Strong Work Ethic