These are the Reasons You Must Control Your Tongue

I often say; If there is one area of me that the Devil use to get a hold of, it was my tongue. 

But like a bird, escaping from the trap of the bird-catcher, I exerted myself vigorously and made it my aim to keep on the watch of whatever that will come out of my mouth each day. How?

You will find out soon enough. It has helped me to avoid many troubles. 

 Selecting what to say at a particular time, is an attitude I advised everyone to practice. That is, if you really want to be taken seriously.
Because, our tongue has no bone, but strong enough to break heart.

The truth is: Hitting someone with sticks and stones may brakes their bones, but your words are powerful weapons that can break their hearts. 

They can inspire, or 
destroy someone. 

Now follow me, lets take a look at the "Top 10 good reasons to control your tongue". 

When we know why something needs to be done, doing it becomes easier.

Below are my top 10 reasons why you should control your tongue. 


1.  It's Not Funny

If you have ever been a receiver of hurtful comments, I bet you would say 'it's not funny'. 

Also, If you has ever been the giver of hurtful comments, then no doubt you probably know the pain of regretting words you have spoken which may includes words of pride and dishonesty, envy gossip and anger.

2.  It May Be Too Late

It is easy to scatter feathers and dust into the air, but difficult to gather them all completely. 

The things we love to hear we do not always say them to others (why!!!). 

And we only realize its gravity only when the rotten apple has been out of our mouth; when it is too late. 

Think before you speak. Let your ear be the one to hear first before it is out.

3.  It Burns Like Fire

In every wide fire there is a spark. Many forest fires are started by spark of a match, or a lightning strike, and even a cigarette butt. 

As small as they are, these little sparks eventually leads to destructions. 

See how powerful our words can be, if it is not controlled.

With a good cook, fire can be used to prepare a delicious meal that can be enjoyed by everyone.

 

That same fire as a result of negligence can set a house on fire, and destroy everything one had laboured for.

Our tongue, just like fire, can cause great harm and destruction if left on the loose.
  

4.  Your Relationships Are Involved

It is very easy for a slip of our tongue to cause a problem in our personal relationship with others. 

And as you already know, our tongue is not a natural automated machine that bubbles forte wisdom (like the ATM machine). 

It needs to be trained, so you can start choosing the right word before you speak. You will only give out what you have inside you to others. 

You can't give what you don’t have.

If you do not select what you say carefully, you might not only hurt others, but could also be hurting yourself without knowing it.

5.  There May Be No 2nd Chance

Why should you wait until someone is feeling heart-broke from the sound of what you said before you take this step seriously? 

We must watch our tongue very closely, even on a daily conversations with our friend or loved ones and those we meet every day. 

The Reason is because, we came from different backgrounds.

6.  We All Are Different

We all: 

•     came from different backgrounds,
•     reared by different parents, and

•     think and reason differently.

 Everyone does not reason or think in the same manner of thought – a word heard from somebody. 

And one factor I noticed is the result of past experience or the early-life of a person, which could determine or affect their understanding of a particular word. 

So watch what you say. 

There are friends that are easily affected by a word, feelings as such that flows like water and very sensible to a word. 

They may be burning inside, due to what you just said, or what they just heard from you. But you the speaker may think or say in your heart: “ah! it is just a word I said“.

7.  It Could Make Your Life Better

Blocking or cutting out negative speech has the potential of enhancing our life and also the lives of the people around. 

Throughout my life I have never see a person giving testimony of how much he enjoyed some hurtful comments (have you see any?).

8.  It Shows How Matured You Are

Your words shows who you really are inside. The things you say about others, says a lot about you; whether you realised it or not. 

The words that comes from your mouth indicate what is in your heart. 

If your friend noticed any sign of pride and dishonesty during your conversation with them, or heard any form of gossip or envy from you about them, it will not only destroy the image and good name you have build with them for many years, but keep your dear friends away from you. 

9.  We Are Family

It will be good if you start today by learning to take responsibility for every word that you speak because we are family.

We have mirrors that help us to see and remove bad spots from our faces. 

Don’t you think we also need something that could help us to monitor our speech like that too? 

Our family and co-workers  are ready.

Our family can serve as a mirror if we welcome them to observe our speech pattern. They could be the happiest people to help you. When they give their observation, try and pay attention to them.

Maybe you have co-workers and acquaintance that you trust. Why don't you alert them of this your goal of making your speech gracious. They too will be very happy to play a part in making you a better person. 

So ask them about your speech pattern with a simple “how do you view the way I talk and reply”. Then evaluate the observation they will share.

You should watch what you say especially in public. This will be a sign of maturity on your part.; be careful with your words... once they are said, they can only be forgiven. Not forgotten.

10.  It’s hard to take it back

Your ears should already know what your mouth is about to say. Don't surprise them. 

You may not be able to take it back. Sometimes we reply according to how we are feeling inside. Don't mix bad words with your bad mood. 

You will have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke. 

So think before you speak. 

Be careful of how you use your words. Pick your words carefully as it has the power to make the sentence beautiful or ugly.

Remember that the quality (and not the quantity) of your speech matters a lot.

It can magnet or attract people to you or repel people away from you.

More friends, or more enemies; it's your choice.
 

Related:

LONELY... BUT HAPPY. HOW? 

HOW TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION (d.p) 

7 Tips to Build a Strong Work Ethic 

7 Tips to Build a Strong Work Ethic (Part 2) 

 

How to Make a Happy Career's Choice in Your 20s

Each moment of our life, we make decisions about what we need, things we love to do, and what we want to become in the future. 

Many 20-somethings today, do not give much thought to how their decisions and actions during this period will ultimately create their future identity. 

They expect they’ll be able to make changes later, but that assumption usually turns out to be wrong. Why? 

Your 20s are a powerful decade of your life. Where your journey continues... 

During your 20s you may think of your career path as having many options. Just like facing multiple doors with their various keys in your hand. Each; leading to different destinations.

 

Your choice and possibilities are endless. 

At this point in life, you believe you could do many different kinds of work, which is technically true.

But later in life, however, people have a tendency to wrap their career paths into their identities. 

So is the saying; ‘you become what you eat’. 

As they, becomes what they do. They don’t just do a job. They are that job. People in their 40s don’t just do customer service; they’re customer service representatives. 

And it continues like that - as people don’t just program; they become programmers.

Many times I’ve seen people in their 20s fall into a temporary line of work, knowing that it wasn’t something they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. 

They just do works or took a job to cover their expenses for a while, expecting to get into something more inspired a bit later, later and later (as it continues). 

Fast forward 20 years though, and they’re still doing that same type of work, except now it’s not just a job. It has been part of their identity, part of their lives. 

They don’t say, “I’m doing some accounting work.” Instead, they say, “I’m an accountant.”

It could be they never wanted that temporary job to become their long-term career. It just sort of happened. 

Somewhere between one, two, three and ten years after the initial decision, they lost the ability to keep the job separate from their identity or their identity separate from the job. 

At some point they had to admit (perhaps only subconsciously), “I’ve been doing this for so many years that I guess I must be an accountant.” You see? 

And when they have to say this aloud, you’ll see a glimmer of sadness in their eyes. Boy, did I see a lot of that at my last high school reunion! Seriously.

When you’re in your 20s, you need to be extra careful about the risk of getting sucked into a long-term career path by doing some temporary work to cover expenses; as it could easily cloud your vision. 

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if you’d still like to be doing that job in 10 years from now. 

Sincerely, if your answer is something like “hell no!” or cynical laughter, then, maybe you should pass and wait for a better spot.

If you’re desperate for money now, fine, but be careful about the possibility of short-term decisions becoming long-term patterns. 

As it is, if you don’t have a clear exit strategy now, you may find that the exit is decades (very far) away. 

So search for the black bird while it is yet day. 

If you see there’s a change to be made, the time to begin is now.

This is your moment... Make that change now.

Related:

5 TIPS TO GET AND KEEP A JOB 

THE RACE YOU'LL NEVER WIN 

NEVER GIVE UP NOW UNTILL YOU READ THIS 

RESPECT MONEY AND LIVE LONGER  
 

How to Respect Money and Live Longer

 

Making money is an important part of our life. 

...But if allowed to become an object of one’s love and heart’s desire, then our heart is prone to a disease

...and our health could be in danger.

 Respect for money may not be a hot topic of conservation when it comes to financial discussions; 

But the fact that most people have not learned how to become responsible with money, and cannot see themselves as responsible, creates the money guilt that discourages them from taking the steps to be in the driver’s seat. 

So some will say; “money is evil”. Instead of "it’s love"!

Why respect Money?

Think about this. Assuming that you acquire your money honestly and honorably, you get your money by working for it (or from a parent or other person who did). 

Time is limited. Therefore, any money you have represents a portion of someone's life, usually your own!
 

Whether you have ever thought of it this way or not, in most cases you have literally exchanged a portion of your life for the money you have. 

And sooner or later you will realize how little time you have on this earth.

Very few people have discovered an appropriate balance toward money and their health. 

Perhaps more important, even those who may be balanced in the way they actually use their money often feel little sense of achievement or satisfaction as a result.

Make no mistake, if your thinking is wrong, your actions will be wrong. 

Evaluate your own attitudes about the role money plays in your life. The way you think will determine your future success, or lack of it, in putting money in its place.

 

We need to exercise self-control continually, always keeping money (wealth, material possessions) in its place, that is, as an instrument, or a servant. 

Never should it be allowed to become an object of one’s love and heart’s desire.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS

Making conscious, deliberate choices about what you do with your money is precisely what this step is all about. 

These four choices will help you to manage your money better and live longer. 

It is called:

• The Four Rules of Money.

1. Spend Less

Only buy what you can easily afford…  (Note: Spending less does not mean misery and hardship).

You may find yourself quickly plunging into debt if you buy items on impulse or spend money just to impress your friends. 

What might help you to avoid these traps?  

1.  learn to discipline yourself,
2. plan ahead,
3. compare prices before buying, and
4. calculate a limit to your spending. . . . 

I also find it wise to go shopping only with those of your friends who are careful with their money too (that’s what I does), and who will encourage you to shop around and not buy the first thing you see.

2. Save More

 Pay yourself first… Careless spending or continuing to debt is like boarding a train traveling the wrong way. You'll never get where you want to go. 

At the same time, you do not want to head in the reverse direction—DEPRIVATION—where your emotional and/or physical needs are not being met.

3. Invest Wisely

Put money in assets that grow in value over time. This can includes setting up a business that you know and capable of running. I don’t intend to suggest a particular one here, but any worthwhile business that brings in income, is worth doing.

4. Give Generously

 Use your money to make a difference… Some people only spend on their necessities and spend all their money on themselves in a very selfish manner. 

But research have shown that those who care more about people than they do about money are happier. 

One might think that with all this money that he had, the solutions to many problems would at least now be in sight. But that would be wrong. Why? 

Because, people whose primary motivations are financial are much more likely to be:

•     anxious and
•     depressed

 than people who value strong relationships with others. So,,,

1. Take care of yourself. 
2. Take interest in others.
3. Get proper rest.

 There is little benefit in becoming a workaholic who sacrifices everything, including:

•     health,
•     family, and
•     friendships

 just for riches!! 

Respect money. Don't love it! maintain it but don't squeeze it too tight so that it die.  

Give generously and use your money to make a difference.

Related:

HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY CAREER'S CHOICE IN YOUR 20s 

DOES COMPETITION RUNS YOUR LIFE? 

SUCCESS AND YOU 

5 TIPS TO GET AND KEEP A JOB 

7 Tips to Build a Strong Work Ethic 

7 Tips to Build a Strong Work Ethic (Part 2) 
 

Lonely... But Happy; How?

  

            Have you ever felt lonely at a point in your life?  

Some experience this every time they are left alone, while others like me, at night as a result of negative memories, leading to frustration. 

Now, let's discuss how you can utilize this SPECIAL MOMENT in your life...

It is a special moment because, some never gets the privilege to find themselves as they keep losing themselves, due to the life style, or the nature of the job they do.

           People think being alone makes you a LONELY being, But I don't think that’s true. Being surrounded by wrong people is the loneliest thing in the World

           You can be happy even when alone, because your contentment comes from inside of you. Your self-worth is not dependent upon any external stimuli. 

So don't be afraid to spend some time alone, unplugged from the phones, TV etc, stop distracting yourself from yourself, this is the only way to slow down and actually observe the patterns and beliefs you holds.  

Sometimes things don't always turn out the way you planned it, or the way you think they should. 

And as hard as we try, there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before.
  
           Personally, I don’t like being lonely, but love being alone (Does that make sense?).

           So how can you be happy when alone and when you feel lonely?

 

Time To Bring Back
Your Happy Memories

           Take this moment to remember the happy days you’ve had in the past and imagine the better days ahead. 

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it, and surround yourself with materials or people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. 

Ask yourself: “What do I like doing?
           

Maybe you enjoy playing an instrument. Why don’t you play one just to accompany yourself for the moment? 

Yes; any hobby that makes you feel good is worth doing at the moment. (If you ask me what I do when I’m alone, of course I would be drawing, typing some write-ups and reading… and some little time on gaming! for short). 
           

Do you have kids? If yes, then you could spend the apple time playing with your kids!
And they will love you for it, and never forget that moment!

 

Time to Focus

           So we say; we think we want one thing, we say we want another and do completely different thing, which comes with a different result. Why? 

Because wHERE yOUR tHOUGHTS gO, yOU gO. It would be difficult for you to be focus if your thoughts are not balance, just like the wave of the sea.
          

There could be no other better time than when you are alone; the time when your thoughts start rearranging themselves. 

Now, when alone, I view it as a rare opportunity to tell, and remind myself of my last agenda or my temporally organized plan for matters to be attended to; the steps I have planned to take to make it a success. 

All this require concentration and focus; you see, my friend. Always use your rare opportunity, when you are privileged to be alone to remind yourself your last agenda or your temporally organized plan for matters to be attended to; the steps you have planned to take to make it a success.

 

 A Broken Friendship

           I hear a friend telling her partner: “…treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny”.
          

Over the years, I've learned that some broken things stay broken, and I've learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.
            

When someone walks out of your life (even though you tried your best), let them. There's no use in wasting your time (feelings, headache, and worries) on people that leave you. 

What you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them. Yeah, you may miss them. But remember that you weren't the one that gave up. 

Let’s be frank and honest; you don’t need their negative attitude and feedback. Now you can focus, at the quietness of the moment. 
           

You could Learn something new, You know, you're so smart and creative but most of the time you believe you aren't. 

Why don’t you spend some time doing what you like every day. Yes. Do something good for yourself.

 

Be Grateful

           Granted, you may be sad and tired or even lonely sometimes. 

But if you remember that you’re still breathing, it's an advantage that will surely put a smile on your face. A sign of better things to come in the future. 

As the saying goes:"When there is LIFE, there is HOPE. Sometimes you have to erase the messages, delete the numbers, and move on. 
           

You don't have to forget who that person was to you, but you do have to accept that they aren't that person anymore. 

You are (or should be) your best friend, get to know yourself, go for a walk, in the woods, observe your thoughts, be with yourself.
Meditate daily, at least for 10 minutes.
           

We have to accept who we are, spend some time with ourselves, to find the great truth within — that we can be alone, that we do not need another person to make us feel whole. 

We are not needy, rather, we're giving and loving.

Related:

HOW TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION (d.p) 

NEVER GIVE UP NOW UNTILL YOU READ THIS 

HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY CAREER'S CHOICE IN YOUR 20s 

RESPECT MONEY AND LIVE LONGER 

 DOES COMPETITION RUNS YOUR LIFE?

 

Does Competition Runs Your Life?

          “In a place where there is no competition, I don’t think improvement in performance will likely happen.” 

That is the answer Emmy (name changed) gave me during our chat on the various things that motivate humans. 

What do you think? 

Maybe you'll agree with Emmy since we live in a very competitive world. 

    

EveryOne around us seems to be competing with someone at some level.

Each week we spend hours playing or watching others compete in games or sporting activities all over the world. 

We cannot help being impressed by the level of excellence that these people achieve. 

Many will compete when the motivation is strong enough. 

          But should you really compare yourself with someone only to prove you’re better? No. I don’t think so. 

You don’t have to. 

Fulfilling the measure of your creation can only be achieved by you alone. For that I say, competition is not your real purpose of life. It is good you know this.  

           Let me tell you what competition does to your performers. 

When there is competition at work, home or at school, it will encourage you to measure your worth with or against what others are able to do; or strive for the same thing as someone else that is stronger, wealthier or more talented than you are.

Competition could make employees push each other to their maximal strength, exceeding their average energy limit (beyond normal). 

Although this may result in an increased production for a period of time; if not control can be damaging to your health. 

While financial incentives and bonuses are a plus (sometimes) to get the competition going, it doesn’t quench the physical and emotional stress experienced by those involved. 

This often leads to lose of sleep at night, and ill-health. 

If not properly handle, can lead to energy reduction, and as individual product power reduces, so is those of the entire team of workers who seek to out-do one another.

           Many times, the effect is negative. 

Because it cultivates in you the feelings of envy and a spirit of jealousy, in a short time (if allowed to continue), spite and resentment soon follow at seeing the success of another.

That could stimulate in you a desire to commit wrong acts. 

         
 This could also make people lack appreciation for what you do for them because, either they expect more, feel they deserve more, or feel that a simple “Thank You” could mean a sign of weakness (just imagine!).

          If you think that this does affect us individually alone, you are wrong. 

In fact, the media, too, are not left out in this area. Competition is fierce among the media. 

Seized by the frenzy of the moment, some reporters seemed to have difficulty finding the balance between getting newsworthy stories ahead of others and showing consideration  and respect for the victims.

IT’S NOT MY THING

The anxiousness to get a particular work done in a short period of time gives me an extra heart-beat. 

It start with an intense sweaty palm with heart beating fast, mind rushing, with terror-filled experience—which make you feel terrible in a couple of minutes and you never want to go through it again.

         Let us not become egotistical, stirring up competition with one another, envying one another. 

When you compare yourself with others, or strive for the same thing as someone else just to prove you’re better, your fundamental question about life go unanswered.

Resist the urge to compare yourself with others. 

This could be the only antidotal remedy to a competitive spirit. 

You may not be able to stop it from building up, for now, but why not concentrate on what you can do! - To reduce its effect, by being content with what you have…

You know, contentment is a secret to those who have never taken step to attain it (could that be you?).

          You don’t have to be discouraged because you think that someone else is wealthier or talented than you are in a particular area in your life. 

There is only one person that can fulfill your roll and that is you. 

Do your own work well and then you will have something to be proud of. But don’t compare yourself with someone else!

IT GOES WITH RESENTMENT

It’s easy to get caught up in the spirit by following the flow due to the environment. 

Just because everybody is doing it doesn’t make it ok. Don’t be surprise to hear this. It is the truth. 

Some friends are encouraging competition at work place, but this is not always positive. 

In fact, it can create unhealthy rivalries that result in workers resenting each other; Especially if one person or a team always get the bonus and the praise by winning the competition. 

If this happen, then a gap had been created among workers, between the “have(s)” and “have not”. And this is not healthy in internal work relation. 

If you ask me, I will say; I prefer the easy going approach to getting works done. Preparing and getting ready on time. 

...Doing the right thing at the right time and not the “win at all cost” competitive attitude that may even bring out the worst in some workers losing one’s self, and forgetting one’s family due to situation beyond control.

LEARN TO COLLABORATE

“Two are better than one”, an old friend once told me; “if one eats alone, he dies alone” (imagine). But that’s not for you my dear reader. Not my friends, not even their businesses or companies. 

So if you work alone or limit your activity to the team in your company alone without outside relation in the name of competition, it will only cripple your growth. How? 

First, it will slow you down. Why? 

Because you will anxiously be peering over your shoulder, constantly checking to see who’s catching up instead of directing those energy and focus on creating or improving your brand and your unique product. 

If you are protecting your professional secrets constantly or monitoring what your competitors are doing, it can distract you from your most important works and rob you of the joy that comes from creating freely and at worst, block your potential business ideas. 

You need to widen out.

STILL WANT TO COMPET?

While competition may be a hot topic in the media and production industries, there are still major group of people that still believes that competition should not be the only way to achieving success. 

Maybe you should give more attention to the quality of the products and services you render. 

A golden fish have no place to hide. 

If your brand is ok and genuine, your friends, and business associates will happily open their hearts, companies, and even wallets to give you whatever they can.

MY DICISION

It may look a bit hypocrite if I do not practice what I say, I feel it might be helpful to you if I tell you what I do each day when everybody seems to be looking up to me to take a challenge or a competition. 

Sometimes the pressure to compete can be very high, but I know what I want, and how to get it! 

I don’t have to compete with anybody to prove to somebody my worth.

This is what comes to me when I'm faced with a decision to compete:

I am in competition with no one. 
I have no desire to play the game
   of being better than anyone. 
I’m simply trying to be better than
    the person I was yesterday.

These thoughts have helped me to gain the power of humility and the art of getting what you want while working cooperatively and harmoniously with others. 

If you are struggling at your current establishment or job to create a balance between peering constantly over your shoulder to see who’s catching up, and 

Creating your brand or rendering a genuine service, then you should follow a more relaxing approach like this positive affirmative technique. 

It has been proved a long time ago that where your thoughts go, you go.

So remind yourself constantly:
 

I am in competition with no one. 
I have no desire to play the game
   of being better than anyone. 
I’m simply trying to be better than
    the person I was yesterday.

Yes… if you continue with this affirmation every day, it will help you to lead a more effective life, and keep you from the worries, stress, and headaches that results from the hassle and survive or win-at-all-cost competitive spirit. 

Good health to you.

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Comment below to let me know you read this article.

Related:

RESPECT MONEY AND LIVE LONGER 

HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY CAREER'S CHOICE IN YOUR 20s 

7 Tips to Build a Strong Work Ethic